Watch Coco in Theaters Again! and Other Ways to Pretend to Care About Hispanic Heritage Month

By: Mirna Benavente

As an AMC Stubs member, it is my duty to tell people to join AMC A-List, which allows you to watch 3 movies every week. It basically pays for itself after two trips! And as it is Hispanic Heritage Month, and I am Mexican, it is also my duty to inform you that Coco is in theaters again. So do your duty and join the AMC A-List and make Coco one of your viewings for the week! Don’t worry, you’ll still have two more movies to fill up your roster until it resets on Friday. You could make it a Mexican double feature and watch Blue Beetle!

Not into that idea? Don’t understand why there’s a month celebrating everyone but don’t want to seem racist? Well, I’m here to assist you into tricking people into believing you give a shit about Hispanic Heritage Month.

Some quick things to make yourself look like an ally include:

• Stream Despacito so your favorite latin artists, Luis Fonsi and Justin Bieber, can earn enough to maybe start respecting their wives! (Looking at you, Luis Fonsi, who left his first wife after she got cancer but became a St. Jude Ambassador.)

• Hitting on small tittied latinas and telling them they remind you of Salma Hayek and Sofia Vergara.

• Go through the Pedro Pascal tag and watch fancams of him on TikTok. Bonus: Scream about how hot Pedro Pascal is and how you totally love ethnic men when they speak Spanish. Me gusta mucho! (Translation: I’m a whore).

If actually taking action and doing things is still too much effort, here are some words and phrases that you can slip in your day-to-day conversations with your local latine friends:

• “You hungry? I can totally go for some Taco Bell if you want.” Allowing them the chance to taste the food of their people.

• “I’ve been meaning to have a smoke sesh, can one of your cousin’s hook us up?”  This has the added bonus of helping small hispanic businesses! (Note: I do have a cousin that could hook us up, some stereotypes are just true)

• Telling American born Hispanics that their English is really good - will boost their confidence and let them know you care

At the end of the day, the important thing is being able to claim that you tried, which will give you an in with the real big tittied latinas that actually look like Salma Hayek and Sofia Vergara.

Editor’s Note: This was not sponsored by AMC Theaters or Nicole Kidman. This bitch just really loves her membership.