Working at a summer camp was my own personal too hot to handle

Wrttien by Jaclyn

Summer camp is sort of like Lord of the Flies but for being horny.

A couple of weeks into the summer, the entire staff puts on what we call “Camp Goggles (Coggles)” and then suddenly they got 30x hotter! You begin to wonder what are your friends hiding under those baggy overalls and three-sizes too-big free camp merch..? And you can almost hear them moaning your name; our camp name to be exact, which happens to be Meatloaf. But ohhh meeeatloaffff ughhhhhhh.

No. 

You take off your Coggles and put on your chastity belt cuz ohhhhh baby you are in a long distance relationship for the summer!!!!!

Every weekend when the kids left I got my own taste of Camp Appropriate audioporn. 

“Wowzers Ding Dong!” and “Oh my goodness Gumby!”

Sometimes when they were having their biweekly All Staff Orgy I would look wistfully out the window watching them, wondering what they were using the slingshots and archery for. That's their business,  because the only people tying my wrists up were those making me friendship bracelets.  

By the end of the summer, three different counselors had baby bumps and parents were starting to ask questions. They were mainly “when can I get in on some of this action?? My husband hasn't been able to get hard in months!” 

Once a funky smell started wafting noticeably through the air around the property, and it was not just from the athlete's foot rampantly spreading from croc to croc; some of the lamer parents decided to ban together and sick poison control on our camp. One blacklight to the place and it was marked a major health hazard and had to be shut down. Sometimes at night, I can still hear the faint calls of “oh yeah Garlic Aoli riiight there……….”