Mental Illness Update! Screen Time For Wikipedia Was 12 Hours Last Week

By: Mirna Benavente

I refuse to use my private tab. And because of that, if you were to search something up using my phone, more likely than not the Wikipedia link for it will be purple. I can’t help myself, I love wasting time by just reading Wiki pages on random subjects until I’m basically an expert.

Wanting to find a reason to drink? I’ll remind myself that Falsettos lost to Dear Evan Hansen at the 2017 Tonys. Bottoms up.

Having a need to know more about Cocaine Bear after seeing ‘Inspired by a true event’ in its trailer? I now know it digested 2 million worth of cocaine and its other aliases include Cokey the Bear and Pable Escobear.

Sure, maybe I’m making up for my lack of serotonin by making myself a know it all. It’s not my fault my antidepressants aint un-depressing me. And one might not understand how this could be an issue. After all, knowledge is power or whatever they say. But this? This is an addiction. An addiction that has now plagued those around me.

My sister wants to know what the capital of Texas is? A few searches and we now know Texas’ large state mammal is the Longhorn, not to be confused with its small state mammal, the armadillo (keep in mind we literally grew up there).

Roomie and I ran out of conversation topics? I’ll give her a rundown of how the internet broke on November 5, 2020. This one I don’t even have to look up. Everyone that is mentally ill and gay remembers where they were on that day. It's Tumblr’s 9/11.
Unfortunately, this “quirk” of mine has just increased since Ash Wednesday as my catholic guilt drove me away from Pedro Pascal edits on Tik Tok and into the arms of Pedro Pascal’s Wiki page (We’re both Aries <3). Yes, I have issues. No, my therapist will not be hearing about it.