My Quest to Become the Most Marginalized Person Ever

Being a triple minority isn’t for the faint of heart. I, however, am batshit crazy with just a touch of delusional mixed in there. Being a woman, a black person, and a bisexual is the “toughest battle” that God wouldn’t even dare put his toughest soldiers through. but I’m him, so naturally, I’m doing amazing. 

Also, I really like the themed months that come with it. February, March, AND June all for me?? What more could a girl ask for?

This girl…could ask for more months. This is my plan to become the most marginalized person ever.

I already had two obvious ones and one easily detected by anyone with a functioning gaydar, but I had to find more. 

Having immigrant parents didn’t work. There’s no month for that. Neither is there one for being the oldest sibling that’s also the shortest sibling. I didn’t even bother with the mental health and wellness months, because what’s that got to do with me?

(Absolutely everything. I have crippling anxiety).

What I needed to do came to me in a dream. I needed to fuse with other minorities to create a mega one. And I knew just the place to get them.

Yes, Splash 2.0 is a good place to connect with different orgs, but it’s also an amazing place to collect minorities. Despite us all being packed into Metcalff Ballroom like sardines, the multiple nooks and crannies as well as this campus’s student body not giving a hoot about one another made it easy to snatch up members from every single cultural and minority club.

To the lab I went, ready to become the best minority I could be.

How did I fuse us all together you may ask?

I cut them up into pieces and literally attached them to myself. Please tell me you haven’t actually ignored the third arm coming out of my ribcage.

I also applied thin layers of their face skin onto my own, just so I wouldn’t be white-passing. I needed to look like the most person of color ever.

Each person, each part, each minority was like a different infinity stone for my gauntlet. I had every region and sexual identity visible on my person. I was unstoppable. I was powerful. I could do anything I wanted. I could have every month.

Call me Thanos, because I am inevitable.

Much to my dismay, I just looked like a roided out version of those light skin kids that are supposed to take over the planet by 2050. Which really sucks, because now I can’t even claim being dark skin anymore :(