6 Internship Rejections in and I’m Considering the Circus

After the first rejection came denial. I still held on to some of that childlike wonder, so I kept pimping out my resume on Handshake. Little did I know, that platform is simply a placation tactic on the part of this godforsaken university. 

After the second … anger. I was trying to be understanding. I had discovered an internship which I felt myself to be suited for, but instead I was viciously ghosted and made to believe that I have the qualifications of a horse fly. In a fit of rage, I decided to read corporate hate mail on reddit, which helped. 

Third… bargaining. I moved myself away from Handshake, switched over to Linkedin for some better luck. I pleaded. I considered texting my mom in an attempt to become a nepotism baby. I did text my mom. Fruitless.

Fourth … depression. I decided to switch up the same cover letter I’ve been using for two years. You know, the one where you command F and swap out one company name for the other. When that failed me again, and I was lost without direction, I thought deeply about switching my major to social media marketing.

Fifth… I got out Chat GPT. I even thought about engaging with the career center at this point. Then, I considered just being a waitress this summer, again. Acceptance.

Sixth… circus? If I can just figure out how to contort myself, I could have the traveling corporate career I’ve always wanted - with the circus. And yet, isn’t formatting a resume a contortion of its own? My cover letter could highlight my special skills: juggling and access to a clown car. Plus, I’ve always looked good with a big red nose and a rainbow afro. My experience with men - I mean clowns - is considerably abundant. 

And sure, riding elephants for a living goes against my ethics, but so does corporate America.