“Yeah My Kitty Stank, So What?” and Other Things I’ve Emailed BU Housing

By Anonymous | Photo by Tara Mullaney

Honestly, I hate my floormates, and they hate me too. These wack ass hoes are always talking about my “kitty stank.”

Ok, so what is my twink-ass roommate gonna know about my “kitty?” I mean, come on, man! Sure, my room in my lavish brownstone does smell like a discount seafood section, but I still don’t understand why my roommate complains so much about my “ripe kitty.” 

Apparently, it got so bad that they called maintenance? One of my floormates passed out from the intense stank of my “pungent kitty,” and broke his head on the cheap tile paneling. 

Next thing you know, I’m getting an email from BU housing asking them to “clean that kitty till it purr” and I’m thinking to myself: You know what? This school is already expensive enough, why should I have to pay for my personal Lemme Purr gummies? 

So I sent them an email with the subject “Yeah My Kitty Stank, So What?” I thought I’d share the other things that I’ve emailed BU’s Department of Student Housing: 

• Subject: First Day “Wet Ass” Smell?

• Subject: Why is the Ghost of a COM Student At the Foot of My Bed?

• Subject: Lemme Purr

• Subject: These Emails Are Not Harassment

• Subject: Digital Restraining Order

• Subject: Re: Lemme Purr (Clarification) 

• Subject: Update: The “Wet Ass” Smell is From the Ghost

And there you have it folks, BU Housing ain’t shit. I’d stay longer to explain, however the COM student ghost is about to tell me more about the “Wet Ass” smell.