ROTC Kids Discuss Their Biggest Life Fears: Not One of Them Mentions War

By Kristin Rosenmund | Photo by Emily He

So there I was on my typical Wednesday afternoon telling myself I’m going to the ninth floor of Kilachand to lock in, when I’m really just playing against AI bots and kids in China on Slither.io. After seven rounds of getting eaten, I finally decided it was time to open up an assignment and stare at it. But even then I couldn’t pay attention, and this time it wasn’t my fault. A group of some of the most annoying bitches at the school walked in and actually wouldn’t shut the fuck up. Oh no, it was the Questrom kids. The group of CGS freshmen who walk around your floor knocking on every boy’s door asking why they hate them? Not them either. It was the cursed ROTC kids. In uniform and all.

I decided to eavesdrop on their conversations because, I mean, why wouldn’t I? While I watched, one of them casually laid their ass down on the floor and hit their seven minute tactical nap. Like, actually, what the fuck are you doing, please get up. This was preceded by the actual army (lol) of guys behind him grabbing their laptops out of their tactical mattress sized backpacks, only moving a few guns and ammo around to get them out. 

At this point, I was over it. I genuinely couldn’t stand being around them for another second, so I got my things and finally started to leave. I tried to step on the thing lying on the floor with his legs high up in the air, when I heard some words that stopped me in my tracks.

“No yea dude, my actual biggest fear is not being able to graduate in four years.”

Huh.

“Same bro! Or sometimes I get so nervous about the thought of never landing a well paying job in the future.”

This made me stop and think for a long second. Are they serious? Like guys, Russia? North Korea. I mean, I don’t know about them, but the thought of a bomb blowing me into a million pieces would probably keep me awake at night more than taking an extra year to get a degree. I was debating on going up to them and asking if they would even be alive in four years. 

I knew it was time for me to leave when they continued their discussion while marching around in a circle and randomly saluting every person that walked through the door. I hope their biggest fears don’t come true and they get their degree in the next four years and land a well paying job because of it. Even if they lie awake the rest of their lives with Vietnam level flashbacks.