Meet with a BU Advisor and You’ll Suddenly Have a Whole Extra Year of College!

By Charlotte T

ADVISING OFFICE — there is a prevalent issue in the advising offices at BU—compulsive lying. I’ve never seen a place (other than the height section of peoples’ dating profiles in Boston) where there’s been this much deceit.

Multiple students told The Bunion that their $80,000— oh, I mean, $90,000— tuition was extended for another year after being led astray by their advisors. On that thought, where does that extra $10,000 go? Because, as of right now, the basement of CAS resembles a swamp, and there’s a surplus of mold, chipped paint, hair, and various unidentifiable crumbs everywhere…so yeah, I don’t know where our dollars find themselves. Are they piled up in a secret room with a diving board where the admin jumps into a sea of dollar bills? Maybe.

A week from registration, Peggy Realname (CFA ‘24) reported that when she walked into her advisor’s office, she “immediately felt assaulted by his aura.” He was dressed in a three-piece suit, so Peggy “knew he was up to no good.” She confessed that he asked if he could take one of Peggy’s Cartier bracelets (for his girlfriend, obviously).

Peggy told him that her major was “studio art,” and he laughed in her face. Her advisor regretfully informed her that none of her classes fulfilled the BU Hub credit for Teamwork/Collaboration. Peggy told us that she believes “every class should fulfill Teamwork/Collaboration.” And we at The Bunion agree. It takes insanity-inducing study sessions at Mugar, many office hours with a professor who can’t answer a question, and dealing with that one kid who can’t stop texting you about the “meaning of the essay prompt” to pass these courses.

Worse, she discovered that the four math classes he made her take weren’t a part of the BU HUB. She tells us that her advisor was “trying to save her from years of unemployment” that comes with a studio art major. However, by extending her stay at BU, he’s already put her in a ton of extra debt!

Peggy explained that she “had eight more classes to complete.” It turned out that she only took one class in studio art throughout her time at BU. When Peggy spoke with one of her friends, she told Peggy that she “completed her HUB in only ten classes.” Peggy, unfortunately, was lied to by her advisor and was under the impression that the HUB took 25+ classes to fulfill…

It turns out her advisor was playing a sick joke on her. He had an unruly obsession with the BU HUB, with 20-30 HUB Infographics hanging in his office. The Bunion heard that this advisor blackmailed admin to eliminate HUB credits from classes to keep students stuck at BU. The advisor hoped he would make more money by forcing students to pay for 5th and 6th years. Unfortunately for him, BU doesn’t believe in “raises” or “fair pay for workers” and the like, so his wage stayed stagnant.

Fortunately, Peggy is on her way to becoming a studio art major. In the longstanding tradition of arts majors, she has exorbitantly wealthy parents, so the extra tuition won’t be an issue.

Notes

Dig into the advisor

Narrow down the parts about Peggy

Last two paragraphs – deviate

Pick some jokes

Sprinkle in some points about Peggy being wealthy - make it subtle

Change perspective just from just Peggy