Freshman Found Strangled with String Lights After Disagreement Over Polaroid Wall

By Ava Doyle | Photo by Tejas Rama

In a tragic turn of events, a freshman was found dead in Warren towers. A seemingly innocent design disagreement spiraled into chaos, and 18 year old Stacy Rect was strangled to death. Sources say she was murdered by fellow roommate Amanda B. Reckondwith. 

According to reports, the tension had been building for weeks. “First, she put the clunky ass mini-fridge on MY side of the dorm,” said Reckondwith. “Then I show up and her rug is 2 shades of pink too light. I’ll be showing our Instagram DMs to the court because we CLEARLY agreed on Shrimp Cocktail with Fuschia undertones.” 

While the aesthetic was already in shambles, the final straw was when Rect set up her polaroid wall. Reckondwith felt betrayed and outraged. “That was NOT mentioned on our freshman dorm inspo Pinterest page.” The wall consisted of over 12 photos from Rect’s senior year spread out as awkwardly as possible.

“It completely threw the vibe off,” said Reckondwith. “The photo of her fugly situationship stares into my eyes every night. Also what’s up with all the photos of her high school friends, who are these people? It’s totally taking away from my poster of Audrey Hepburn holding that stick.”

Reckondwith was outraged by the deviation from the previously agreed upon aesthetic. The room no longer felt like minimalistic mid-century modern with a hint of Boho New York chic. Reckondwith took her anger out directly on Rect. She ripped down her string lights that were hung with 3 dusty command strips, and strangled her with them.

Police noted that Rect did not die without a struggle, as the room was strew with 37 decorative pillows. “It looks like she attempted to swing a Brita filter at her roommate,” said Officer Jack Knauf. “Although she missed and shattered the framed ‘And Nevertheless, She Persisted’ quote.” 

In the ensuing chaos, the string lights broke and caught the 3-inch poofy rug aflame. The fire quickly spread to the walls. “The flames consumed the poster of a 2D world map and monochrome print of the Eiffel tower,” said Officer Knauf. “At that point the sprinklers turned on and we managed to save the fake ivy and Tyler, the Creator poster.” 

The campus remains shaken, but resilient. Warren towers residents have set their LED lights to soft Magenta in remembrance. 

Tune in next week on Dorm Wars where we’ll cover two dudes throwing hands over a flag of a country they can’t locate on a map and a Wolf of Wall Street poster.