Gold, Frankincense, and Other Gifts Found in a Frat Dining Room

By Ogenna Oraedu | Photo by Sadie S.

You won’t find baby Jesus in here, but you may find some baby back ribs.

Even though the Massachusetts Institute of Technology has a 4% acceptance rate, I still somehow found myself within one of the many pillars of the esteemed institution: A frat house. I don’t know what led me to that seemingly holy place. Could it have been the North Star? Divine intervention? The loud music and bright LED lights? 

All I know is that God wanted me there on that night with those people. 

With a jello shot in my back pocket and hope in my heart, I prepared for a journey that was bigger than myself.

I did not come bearing gifts. Well, I guess there was my jello shot, but that was really just for me. As I traveled through the desert (up the frat house stairs), I stumbled upon a room. I had to go in. It was God’s Will.

My friends opened the door, and I saw it. In a manger on a pile of hay (In a foil pan on the table with a pile of nicely folded napkins around it), a message from the Lord of the most high, I did not need to come bearing gifts, because I was coming to receive one. The baby back ribs the frat brothers had left were the spitting image of their father: God. 

After absolutely demolishing this incarnation of the body of Christ and washing it down with my jello shot (helloooo it’s the blood of Christ), I decided to explore the room a little more. What else did my father up in heaven leave for me?

It turns out, a lot.

A Hozier CD. A collection of classic literature. A piano with a sorority girl playing it. The blood of Christ in its boxed wine form. Gifts galore!

I then left the holy place to spread the gospel. Moving to the tarp-covered dance floor and pushing all of those sinners out of the way, I took to the randomly raised surface in the middle of the room. The Holy Spirit moved within me. I started preaching right as Doses & Mimosas started playing, just to make sure that I really had their attention. And I think I did too, for a time at least. Then my God forsook me. 

In pure biblical fashion, the rapture happened right after I laid eyes on those precious baby back ribs. It turns out that 20 people on a shitty hardwood pallet is not safe in any way. As it crumpled under our weight, I heard his voice: “It is time to go home.” Drinks flew, there was sawdust everywhere, and I landed on a sticky spot on the tarp. But I felt at peace. The world (the party) may have been ending, but I was ready to go to God (or at least, back to my apartment.) 

Button: the rapture is caused by the ribs. I fell off of the risers. They were left out for too long. Do not eat strange food. God loves you!