He's Taught Me So Much! When Your Lecture Crush is the Professor
By: Anonymous
Who doesn’t love a lecture crush? After all, NOTHING, not even the arm and leg it costs to go to BU, motivates me more to come to class than the prospect of seeing that one person in class who caught my eye. I don’t always have a lecture crush, but when I find one, it’s exhilarating. I can’t help but look at them every single chance I get, and the butterflies I feel when I first spot them after arriving to class is more than I have ever felt for anyone else, including people I have actually dated. I am always convinced that everytime my lecture crush and I accidentally make eye contact, it means they’re in love with me and we’re going to run away and elope. I may not even know their name, but I know we must be meant to be (I live in a constant state of delulu). Having a lecture crush makes the pain of coming to class worth it. And when they don’t show up to class one day, I might as well have not shown up either.
Last semester, I had the unexpected but always pleasant surprise of developing a lecture crush in my anatomy and physiology lecture. Only, it wasn’t on a fellow student. It was none other than the professor, who we’ll call Luigi. The first time I showed up to his lecture, I was shocked by how attractive he was. A young professor wearing glasses, a cardigan, and a slutty scarf (the academic equivalent of a slutty chain). He had dark hair, slight stubble, and was clearly fit. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him, which I suppose is a good thing since I was supposed to be paying attention to him anyway. He was funny and charming, and it was instantly clear he was extremely intelligent. This man was attractive and had a good personality?? What a rare find. It was love at first sight. You best believe I never ever missed a single lecture in that class. I absolutely HAD to see Luigi.
It’s amazing what the wonders of having a lecture crush on your professor can do. I always showed up, paid attention, and was extremely motivated to do my best so I could impress him. Humbly, I did get an A in that class, and it’s all because there’s no stronger motivator than a lecture crush, especially when your class is being taught by a dilf. I was extremely invested in everything he had to say. I happily listened to this man lecture us on topics that I otherwise would have despised learning about, such as urinary physiology or action potentials. Don’t even get me started on when we got to the reproductive physiology unit. You already know there is plenty more I would let this man teach me on that topic if I could. I’m pretty sure he has a wife, but they do say that 50% of marriages in America end in divorce, so I am still holding on to hope.
My advice to you all to succeed in college and to also live your best life in delulu, is to find yourself a lecture crush whenever possible, and on the rare occasion your professor happens to be a dilf or a milf, take full advantage of the time you get to spend in their lecture. I am grateful to Luigi for everything he taught me, and in return, I would gladly let him choke me with his scarf anytime he wanted.
* I am not even into choking so that’s how you know I am down bad for this man