BU COM Student Forgets to Clear Rental SD Card After Documenting Sad Orgy

By Kai Farr

BOSTON – An uncleared SD card recently returned to the Film and TV Department revealed a disappointing sex tape, presumably involving at least one BU student.

“This was the last thing I expected to see,” said Jeffrey Farber (COM ’25), who stumbled upon the video after renting a camera for his upcoming journalism project. “I did watch all eight minutes though. Like, I needed to see where this was going.”

Sources believe that the male student involved is a film major, due to his large ego and small penis. Although lasting less than a minute, he demanded they get B-roll and room tone, as well as various canted angles of the space. He also attempted to explain various Tarantino plots mid-session and got soft any time a female director was mentioned.

 “I almost turned it off when he suggested they try Reservoir Doggystyle,” said Farber.

The other three students involved have not been identified; however, they are assumed to be in CFA due to their incredible acting abilities.

“Nobody actually screams like that,” said Johnny Matterson (CGS ‘26). “There’s no way that was real, they’ve clearly been classically trained.”

Other students who have watched the footage dismiss it for its low-grade cinematography and directing choices.

“The framing was entirely off and the set design was shit,” said FTV senior Carlos Quan. “Usually I can get off to anything but this was just an embarrassment to our department.”

“Artistically it didn’t hold much value,” agreed Film Criticism major Mariana Thomas. “The plot lacked cohesion and frankly the climax was a little disappointing.”

Public Relations students are scrambling to identify the involved parties, viewing this as the perfect opportunity for some hands-on practice at managing crises.  

“I’ve already written up the perfect notes app apology, so if you were one of the affected persons, please hit me up on the gram,” said Joey Walker (COM ‘27).

BU Wellness is hosting a support group for those who may have been made depressed after viewing the pathetic sexual encounter. There will also be tech support made available to teach students how to properly reformat SD cards, and fun team building activities including “suck and blow” and “pin the clit on the vulva.” 

Although not being officially released to theaters, the film is expected to be shown at the university’s Redstone Film Festival next semester. Some are taking it even further, pushing for clips of the video to be included in the incoming student orientation video.

“People should know what they’re getting into here,” said Farber. “And they should also know what’ll be getting into them.”