Why I Think the Guys Across the Hall are in Love

They say you discover yourself in college. You make some difficult choices like taking an 8 am class and thinking, “I’ll totally wake up for this” and then stop attending the class altogether after the first week. But most importantly, you experiment. But what happens when you live with the love of your life?

Over the semester, roomie and I will occasionally converse with the guys across the hall. Not often, but enough to begin to wonder if their playful banter is actually… flirting?

A nice heterosexual ass slap is explainable, sure. All straight men are somewhat ‘gay’ because, let’s be real, everyone has had gay thoughts. But I just think the lingering head-on-shoulder thing they do is totally more than bromance.

A person’s music taste is a window to the deepest parts of their soul. I personally have music that I would rather sit in a middle seat of a full Southwest Airlines flight than admit to having on my playlist. But on more than one occasion roomie and I have heard The Greatest Showman soundtrack be played on blast, followed promptly by Toxic. And while I am not a proponent for stereotypes, Britney Spears is mother for the girls and the gays. 

And what if after my roomie slightly rejected one of them (unconfirmed), the other refused to even look in her direction, much less say hi back? That doesn’t mean he wished he had been in her spot and he’s angry she hurt his lov- buddy’s feelings. Bros before hoes! But maybe your bro is your hoe??

Roommates fight all the time, right? So it isn’t a couples squabble when one chooses to spend time in the public space instead of their available room. And sleep in the hall instead of the bed in their room, scaring your neighbors when they take a midnight piss (which they definitely took after that fright). They do say never go to bed angry, so this was the obvious solution (loophole!).

Also, there’s been a girl over to their room! And they seemed to be playfully flirting! It seems like one of them is not playing for the same team… Why is there a knock on my door? Oh! It’s the girl. And she’s asking for a….pad? Hmm, interesting. But I digress (I’ve also never seen her since).

And maybe the dildo conversation my roomie heard while showering was just a silly little joke between homies who are comfortable with one another (no, we never did find out the context for it). 

But at the end of the day, it’s all platonic. Homies for life. I’m not discouraging displays of male affection. But when the closet is clear, one has to wonder…

All I can confirm is that they will be living together next semester, far away from the prying eyes of two bored girls across the hall. If you already love them, why separate?