Marsh Plaza to Remain Covered in Snow Due to Concerns Over Plowing Seal

MARSH CHAPEL PLAZA – As Boston is pelted with snow in a blizzard that some are calling “Not A Big Deal,” Boston University officials are hesitant to clear Marsh Chapel Plaza due to concerns about plowing over the seal. Many students are familiar with the urban legend, which warns that stepping on the famed seal will result in the horrifying prospect of not graduating on time. However, few are aware of the other superstition associated with the seal: if touched by a snow plow, Boston’s climate will suddenly and permanently become tropical.

“This is a phenomenon that scientists still haven’t figured out,” says Earth & Environmental Sciences major Kit Greenblatt (CAS ‘18) who spent last semester abroad in LA, studying the effect of heat complaints on the climate.

The Bunion sent a reporter to speak with a BU alum who remembers the last time someone plowed over the seal, which was during the Great Blizzard of 1842 (at the time, simply known as “Weather”). “It was miraculous,” says Durian Von Hurstenklepp III (CAS 1844). “As soon as the plow ran over the seal, the sun came out, melted all the snow, and it was 90 degrees every day until 1869, when we finished the Continental Railroad. It took a lot of pollution to get Boston back to its normal, freezing self.”

At press time, reporters from The Bunion spotted a massive protest of students from California forming outside of President Brown’s house, all of whom were urging him to allow the plowing.