There Will Be No Bunion Article Today, We Swear

BUNION HQ—Sources report that Boston University’s satirical news source The Bunion Paper, would not be posting an article on April Fools day.“We’re not going to post an article today, so lower your expectations,” said Bunion officials. “Seriously, there will not be an article being posted.”Sources from The Bunion told The Bunion that their reasoning for not posting an article today was due to the pressure of posting satire on April Fools, a day notorious for silly pranks and tricksters.“We never did ‘funny’ here very well at The Bunion,” said former editor-in-chief Kevin Helms. “It’s just not something we can get behind, and therefore we won’t be releasing any stories at all today.”The Bunion feels that by not posting they are making a statement that will present a timeless message: no funnies, not now, not ever.“I can’t believe they didn’t post anything today,” said Johnnie Rand (COM ‘16). “I mean c’mon, at least post a cheap joke about President Brown like you normally do.”At press time, The Bunion staff was taking the day off from funny and feeling good, thinking maybe they would do this forever.