Professors To Consider “Brownie Points” In Final Grade Calculation

CAS—Professors confirmed this week that from this point forward they will now be utilizing the Brownie Point system as a part of their grading system.“We understand grade deflation can be a big problem here at Boston University,” said Matilda Jenkins, a World History professor. “We wanted to add in a way for students to be able to get better grades, without skewing the system too much.”Students can collect brownie points by picking up groceries for their professors, picking their professors kids up from school, or giving their professors back massages.“We want to clarify that Brownie Points are very different than kissing ass,” said Jenkins. “Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing like a good kiss ass, but we can’t officially give students points for it.”Students who are falling behind in their classes are ecstatic about the new policy, and have been gearing up to win their professors over.“I bought these flowers, I made this fine quiche, and I even made Professor Madden a new quilt to keep her warm at night!” said Andy Krasnoff (COM ’16). “I’m not event this nice to my girlfriend!”Professors seem hopeful with the new direction that the grading system has taken, and even hope to replace “participation” with “gold stars” starting next year.At press time, culinary professor James Thomas claimed credit for the idea, as he had been using Brownie Points all along in his grading system, assigning brownie baking as a final project.