Replacing Google Drive With a Single Piece of Loose Leaf We All Must Share

By Kai Farr | Photo by Tara Mullaney

Unfortunately, BU’s 3.5 billion dollar endowment is not enough to continue the current Google Drive Storage for students. Instead, the University announced last week that it will be implementing a single piece of looseleaf paper to be passed around the student body as needed. 

The page will be kept at Mugar Library (for COM students, this is the big big book building near the place with the yum yum food) for safekeeping.

“I guess I’m just a little confused on how we’re all gonna fit our notes on there,” said ENG sophomore Sophie Bynes.

BU’s solution? Eraser.

“We’re not that worried about it,” said Dean Todd Flynn, who commissioned the project. “COM students, CGS students, CFA students, and every single senior won’t be taking notes in any of their classes anyway.”

“The real problem will be the fuckin’ nerds,” said IT spokesperson, Jimmy Littleman.

In a test trial for the shared document, the page returned to Mugar at the end of the week with the quadratic formula, a Judith Butler quote, and a punnett square on the front page. The back just had a giant penis drawn on it. 

“Honestly better than I thought it would go,” said Littleman. 

After this huge success, BU plans to fully implement the system through an ornate online sign-out system that won’t be live until Fall 2027. 

Note: We had those little fucking nerds do the math on it, and even if BU were to buy the most expensive Google Education license (giving 20 GB of storage to every student), it would only cost the institution about $187,000. Which is .005% of the entire 2024 endowment. So.