Ranking Majors Based on How Much I Want To Burst Their Head Like a Piñata
By Cam Hoff | Photo by Emily He
I’m not going to beat around the bush. I am hateful. I am spiteful. I am evil. And I am wretched. No one is safe from my ever-burning wrath. No one will ever be safe. And guess what slags, I have something that’s been cooking. Hate that needs to be shared. Some of y’all pick some dumb-ass majors and you need to know that. Did you make a mistake? Probably. Let me tell you why.
And now for my complete list of all BU majors, ranked by how much I fucking hate them. Don’t think I’m just going to include the top ten majors I hate. Oh no no no, I have much more spite in me than that. I will be ranking EVERY SINGLE MAJOR from best to worst. Now I won’t spend much time explaining my feelings behind every single choice, but rest assured. If I have something special to say it will be said.
Holocaust, Genocide, and Human Rights Studies - I fucking love people. I’m so into humanitarianism right now.
Earth and Environmental Sciences - The Earth is beautiful.
Environmental Analysis and Policy - The Earth is so important. Ain’t that right!
Art - I love when people are creative! I also love potheads!
Painting
Printmaking
Sculpture
Music (Performance) - PLAY YOUR SONG FUNKYMAN
Physical Therapy (Six-Year Program) - Lord knows I’m going to need it someday.
Linguistics - Honestly, linguistics is cool.
Speech, Language and Hearing Sciences - These are all so important. I do each on the daily.
Linguistics and Speech, Language and Hearing Sciences
Linguistics and African Languages - Majors that are subsets will typically always be worse than the general form of the major.
Linguistics and Philosophy
Health Science - Once again, I’m a humanitarian, people should be healthy in my opinion.
Costume Design and Production (Design, Production, and Management) - The theater is magical. I love to be transported away. Thank you for your hard work.
Lighting Design (Design, Production, and Management)
Scene Design (Design, Production, and Management)
Sound Design (Design, Production, and Management)
Technical Production (Design, Production, and Management)
Theatre Arts Design and Production (Design, Production and Management)
Human Physiology
International Relations - There are so many people in the world and that is beautiful.
Graphic Design - I love nothing more than some fancy designs. However, I could just use canva and get the same quality.
Composition and Theory
Middle East and North Africa Studies
Korean Language and Literature
Japanese and Linguistics
Italian and Linguistics
Russian Language and Literature
Japanese Language and Literature
Theatre Arts/Performance (Performance) - I’d rather listen to a music major.
Nutrition (Nutrition and Health Track)
Nutrition (Nutrition Science Track)
Comparative Literature - Comparing is so powerful.
English - One of my majors, I love stories. Stories are great.
Middle Eastern and South Asian Languages and Literatures
Music Education
Education and Human Development - Although you all are so important, wanting to be a teacher is so basic. Become specialized, become a professor. Y’all have no drive.
African American And Black Diaspora Studies
Asian Studies
Philosophy - My other personal major: Mediocrity at its finest. It’s developing my mind, but it’s also leaving me with no prospects.
Political Science - Politics are fake and you’re power hungry. However, somebody has got to fix America’s government.
Philosophy and Political Science
Philosophy and Psychology
Philosophy and Religion
Spanish
Spanish and Linguistics
Chinese Language and Literature
Science Education with Specialization in Biology, Chemistry, or Physics - If you’re gonna major in science at least do something practical with it, like teaching.
Mechanical Engineering - Like this is fucking gross, but good for you if you can do it.
Behavior and Health
Anthropology and Religion
Architectural Studies
Art Education
Acting (Performance) - Bitch sing a song! Bitch do a dance! Bitch give me fucking something besides you crying.
Journalism
German Language and Literature
Aerospace Engineering Concentration - Fuck space. Earth is more important.
Philosophy and Neuroscience
Ancient Greek - Get your head out of history, stay in the present. Is present time Greek so bad? Bigot.
Neuroscience
Archaeological and Environmental Science
Ancient Greek and Latin
Latin American Studies
Anthropology- Specialization in Anthropology, Health, and Medicine
Anthropology- Specialization in Biological Anthropology
Anthropology- Specialization in Sociocultural Anthropology
Archaeology
Astronomy - Stop looking at the stars and look up how to get a job.
Psychology - Mental health isn’t real silly!
Religion - Religion isn’t real silly!
Theater Arts - Take one of the practical theater majors. Don’t try to be unique.
Classics and Archaeology
Classics and Philosophy
Classics and Religion
Biomedical Engineering
Astronomy and Physics
Mathematics and Philosophy - Math should just stay math. Stop trying to invade my discipline.
Biochemistry and Molecular Biology
Public Relations
Cinema and Media Studies
Chemistry - Chemistry is horrible and I hate it. However, NileRed on Youtube is my everything.
Advertising
Latin
Biology
Biology with Specialization in Behavioral Biology
Biology with Specialization in Ecology and Conservation Biology
Chemistry with Specialization in Chemical Biology
Biology with Specialization in Cell Biology, Molecular Biology and Genetics
Biology with Specialization in Neurobiology
Chemistry and Physics
Computer Engineering
Data Science - First you get the stupid jenga building and you expect to be ranked higher? No no no, you’re nothing. You’re fake. Data doesn’t exist, it's just numbers.
Electrical Engineering
Hospitality Administration - Why are you as an 18 year old, deciding that for the rest of your life you want to work in a hotel. Embarrassing.
Mathematics (includes Statistics) - Statistics is math?! Of course it includes statistics. BU, you’re wrong for this.
Mathematics and Mathematics Education
Media Science
Hospitality Communications
Italian Studies
History - Just make your mom tell you.
History of Art and Architecture
Sociology - My roommate was a sociology major and neither of us can tell you what it even is.
Economics and Mathematics
Energy Technologies Concentration - There are better ways to care for the Earth.
Philosophy and Physics - Why are we ruining majors with physics. It’s not just.
European Studies - They’re colonizers. Enough said full stop.
French Studies - God do I hate the French.
Linguistics and Computer Science - Why are we trying to ruin linguistics? Get that computer OUT OF HERE!
Manufacturing Engineering Concentration
French and Linguistics
Pre-Dentistry - GET
Pre-Law - A
Pre-Medicine - REAL
Pre-Veterinary Medicine - MAJOR
Business Administration and Management (Business Analytics)
Business Administration and Management (Independent Concentration)
Business Administration and Management (Information Systems Concentration)
Business Administration and Management (Management and Organizations)
Business Administration and Management (Operations and Supply Chain Management)
Business Administration and Management (Accounting Concentration)
Business Administration and Management (Finance Concentration)
Business Administration and Management (Global Business Concentration)
Business Administration and Management (Innovation and Entrepreneurship)
Business Administration and Management (Law Concentration)
Business Administration and Management (Marketing Concentration)
Business Administration and Management (Real Estate)
Business Administration and Management (Strategy) - A general note about all the Business Administration and Management Majors: There should not be this many. Businesses are literally fake, you are all just disgusting capitalist pigs.
American Studies - America is full of nasties.
Stage Management (Design, Production, and Management) - Stage Managers are the worst people on Earth. They have so much wickedness in their hearts, even more than me.
Economics - Money isn’t even fucking real. Who are you to try to understand it? Maybe spend some time trying to understand something actually important. Like being liked by others.
Film and Television - Do this at your house, what’s stopping you
Computer Science and Economics - Everything laced with computer science is tainted. Your major essentially has been laced with fentanyl. How does that feel? Addict.
Statistics and Computer Science
Mathematics and Physics - Y’all need to smoke some weed. How tight does your asshole have to be to want to major in this.
Music (Nonperformance) - Maybe you should learn how to perform, embarrassing.
Mathematics and Computer Science - Drugs can’t save you from this hell.
Nanotechnology Concentration - This is fake. Like what do you even do? This major is too specific. If you want to dedicate your life to nanotechnology maybe you should instead dedicate it to having your first kiss.
Marine Science - What are you two years old? Get a real goal.
Computer Science - YOU SMELL! GO SHOWER!
Physics - The worst science full stop.
General Studies - What even is this? Stupid. GET AN ACTUAL MAJOR I DON’T CARE IF IT’S BAD!
Independent Major - You’re not fucking special no matter how much you tell yourself you are. Get a real job.
Physics and Computer Science - This major holds so much evilness. What are you trying to do combining two of the worst majors? Two majors where everyone stinks. One time I smelled one of these guys and my nose fell off. I’m still looking for it to this day.
And so, my dear reader, there we have it. All 145 Boston University majors ranked based on how much I hate them. If you get offended, good, you should’ve chosen a better major. It’s not my fault you’re stupid and dumb and ugly and gross and nasty and evil and dreadful and terrible. You and your major suck.