Moo Deng Set to Replace Rhett As BU’s Mascot

By Lauren Matz | Photo by Yara Ahmed

It’s 2024, and Boston University has become the newest member of the woke mob. Students recently began to revolt against Rhett, the buff white man-esque nearly-humanoid Terrier mascot. 

Petitions and protests have popped up all over campus as students campaign for a better, more representative mascot. Even the newly inaugurated President Gilliam has weighed in on the matter: “We’re not bitches, so why should we be represented by one?”

But who could possibly replace such an iconic persona (or perhaps I should say fursona)? Students rally in support of Moo Deng, the newly famous baby hippo known for staying oiled up and rocking a sassy attitude. International students are keen on the representation (Moo Deng hails from Thailand) and many figures have reacted favorably to the body-positive stance she would bring. “She’s fiercely herself, and she doesn’t need arm muscles to prove it,” one BU Engineering student proclaims.

Moo Deng is already far more popular than Rhett, and she hasn’t even stepped one hoof on campus yet. Her virality on social media has the potential to increase BU’s relevance and reputation and possibly pull in stronger applicants this fall. Anyone you grab off the street is most likely familiar with Moo Deng– and think about how good that beautiful face would look on a BU shirt!

Plus, she’d fit right in. As a hippo, she can sleep for up to 16 hours a day– right up to par with the growing population of burnt out students. She has more options at the dining hall than gluten-free students, and she can’t even eat solids yet! Also, that simple two-syllable name packs a punch and would make for a great chant at the hockey games.

Speaking of the hockey games, Moo Deng has proven she can scare off an opponent. The way she screams at her zookeepers is way more intimidating than a 20 pound Boston Terrier could ever be. Imagine it now– Moo Deng and Baldwin the Eagle facing off at Beanpot. Moo Deng’s entourage sprays her with a hose to warm her up, effectively flattening all of Baldwin’s feathers. She charges at Baldwin, backing him into a corner, where he will remain for the entire game. Finally, after BU scores the winning goal, Moo Deng lets out a scream of victory before dragging Baldwin under the bleachers to be tarred and feathered. Okay, maybe that’s taking it too far, but let’s face it– no one could ever come up with such a grand fantasy for a purse-sized dog.

Rhett has yet to issue a statement on the matter.