I Won’t Give Up. My Professor’s Bussy WILL Quiver

By Cam Hoff | Photo by Tara Mullaney

I am a young gay man. This means two things. One: I whole-heartedly believe I could have sex with anyone I want as long as I try hard enough. Two: I am a romantic May looking for his hearty December. 

It’s important to mention another factor of my being. I am a college student. Now I am no mathematician major, but if one plus one is three and three plus three is seven, then obviously I’m sexually attracted to my professors. Full stop. 

Professors should not have sex with their students. I don’t think anyone would disagree. It’s a horrible display of the imbalance in power intrinsic to this type of relationship. But Mama? I don’t give a fuck. Three out of four of my professors this semester are male. The numbers are adding up. If I have four professors and one of them is female, then that leaves three male professors. Now that one of the professors has died there are three out of four. There is a vacancy that needs to be filled. I will fill it with my penis. Ok? 

With that out of the way how might I attract at least two out of the three out of the four total professors I have. Should I fart in class? Should I participate in class? Should I boof in class? Should I cry in class? Should I whip and nae nae in class? Should I kiss his forehead? Should I kiss his feet? Should I shave my head? Should I wear a remote controlled buttplug and drop the controller in his mailbox? Should I fart again? 

How dare you ask me these questions Idiot McPenisGerryManderer! They’ll all work because I am magnetic. I am chartreuse and charismatic. And I was rooting for me, we were all rooting for me. The moment I stepped in class my Professors’ bussies quivered at the rumble of my powerful and forceful stomp. Their bussies quivered at the sound of my constant bussy moans. Their bussies quivered at the sight of my three bulges (two real and one fake). Their bussies quivered at the smell of my uncleaned ass slit. And most importantly? Their bussies quivered on the smooth dulce de leche tones of my feminine yet distinctly masculine voice. 

I Won’t Give Up. My Professor’s Bussy Will Quiver? Fuck you Faggot his bussy been quivered.