I Found Rhett’s Depop and Let’s Just Say There’s Hella Thongs *Things

By Madi Forrest | Photo by Allison Groves

Rhett, the social media activist, scrolls on his phone. After leaving some hate comments on Baldwin’s recent thrap, Rhett takes some of his own, only better. He watches a couple reels, then a couple more and then gets back to work.

Rhett is raising money for the needy (he didn’t disclose who or what that means) by selling clothes on Depop. Right now, there are a lot of those overworn corsets from Amazon among other things. Wait, or thongs. The thongs, or things, I still don’t understand are “preloved” whatever the fuck that means. There’s a lot of preloved items actually. Some found around campus and some from Rhett. I do not want to know what on the Depop is actually his. There’s a lot of collars and similar harnesses probably because he is a good boy, but then why are they made of leather…?

I’m scared. ARE THEY THINGS OR THONGS. Why doesn’t anyone know for sure. I think I’m a reliable news source so I should know but I don’t. Oh there are thongs, actually… and they are preloved. For everyone’s safety we will just say things rather than thongs. There are more than just Rhett’s thongs; there is also a pair from Baldwin (I wish I was kidding). Baldwin’s thong has what appears to be a massive shit stain on it. 

Rhett is also selling those bright red shirts from matriculation with his face on it, but with a synched waist in the photo. He must really care about the needy because these prices are ridiculous. Everything is either $67 or $69. There’s even a half used bottle of lotion listed, and some groceries. He is really innovative and caring, raising $67 from selling an apple is no easy task. Rhett has sold 5 items so far. After he sells another item, Rhett will have sold 6 items! Go Terriers!