The Warren Towers and Other Sex Positions Based on BU Buildings

By Abbie Garretson

As BU students there are two things we are always looking for in our lives: how to show more Terrier Pride and sex. With this in mind I have come up with the solutions to better integrate both of these things into our horny little lives. Thus I present: brand new sex positions inspired by BU buildings.

CDS: 'Sloppy Jenga'

One person stands while another person kneels on the ground and gives them sloppy. The next person then straddles the standing person's head while balancing on their shoulders. The next person then gets on their shoulders. Repeat this until tall as physically fucking possible.

Warren Towers:

One person lays completely down on their back. This position is best performed when that person has some form of penis or penis attachment. The first 'tower' sits on the base’s face. The second tower is located in the middle just spinning on that dick. The third and final tower is stuck on the end getting a footjob from the base (this is because people in C tower have a foot fetish).

Kilichand:

Abstinence.

College of Arts and Sciences:

One person kneels on the ground while a person kneels behind them and ravages them from the back. Then one person kneels behind them and just goes at it. Then another person kneels behind them and repeats to the length of Comm Ave (it may just be human centipede).

Questrom:

You know that scene in American Psycho when Patrick Batman looks at himself sensually in the mirror and flexes while he fucks a prostitute? Yeah just that.

West Campus:

This one takes a little bit of set up, but for all my rope bunnies…. Have your partner tie you up to one of those fuckass BU sanctioned electric scooters. You will then romantically balance on the scooters together (our campus's main form of courting) and hanky that panky while doing loops around Comm Ave.

School of Theology:

Basic bitch missionary but neither of you guys are particularly satisfied and feel bad about it after. Bonus points if one of you dresses as a sexy priest and then you both repent about it afterwards together. 

Some honorable mentions:

CFA: Naked interpretive dance/ movement piece FA100 style.

College of Communication: Just broadcast you fucking on WTBU radio.

Sargent: Freaky gynecology appointment or prostate exam roleplay.

I hope this has inspired and turned all of you little freaks on. Go forth and go at it terrier style. Xoxo 😘