Top 5 Fanfictions Under the Boston University Tag on AO3
By: Sadie Shelkey
Going into this investigation, I naively assumed there were about 10-15 fanfictions to sort through. An easy article! The lowest hanging fruit! But I was sorely mistaken… From Phineas and Ferb to Chris Evans/Reader, there was a shocking variety of fanbases and ships represented, including a genuinely unfathomable number of stories about real BU hockey players. With a grand total of 191 results to sift through, this investigation quickly shaped up to be the biggest piece of investigative journalism since Watergate. And I’m a bitch who commits to the bit.
Still, I’d be a liar if I said I read all of them. Some were simply unreasonably long, some scarily vulgar, but I like to think I gave it more of an effort than most would anyone else would. So without further ado, over 100k words, 4 hours, and -6 IQ points later, I present you with the definitive ranking of Top 5 Fanfictions about Boston University.
After a highly sexual meetcute in the Boston Public Library, Robin Buckley (BU) and Nancy Wheeler (Emerson) ride the T back to Nancy’s apartment, and discuss (hypothetically) which line would be best to have sex on.
Shockingly, this is not ranked number one because of the bizarre plot, or the whiplash I got reading the back to back tags of “MBTA” and “Dental Dams”. No, this earns the top spot because of its scarily comprehensive knowledge of the T, and genuine strong opinions on which line would be best to have lesbian sex on. It was very refreshing in a series of fanfictions clearly written by 14 year olds who have never seen Boston, or a college campus, for that matter, in their lives. This author knows their shit about the city, and decided to use it for evil (classic stranger things fan moment).
At The Stadium follows you, the reader, as a quirky BU poli sci professor new to the city and horny asf. Your name is James (in a quirky girl’s name way of course), and your skills in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu lead you to a chance encounter with, you guessed it, Chris Evans.
I know this summary makes it sound like a shitpost, but I guarantee the tone was DEAD serious. I don’t think I need to further justify this ranking, but if you aren’t sold on it yet, there are multiple implications in the first chapter alone that Chris Evans and Nancy Pelosi are friends. The only reason it didn’t land the first place spot was because it was OVER A HUNDRED THOUSAND WORDS LONG, and kindly, I’m not reading all that shit.
After BC hockey player Johnny Gaudreau realizes that the guy he just hooked up with is a BU hockey player, an existential crisis ensues as he tries to navigate this new situationship across rival hockey teams.
I really tried my hardest to not include a hockey fanfic, but how could I ignore this one. I could say so many things. The ‘deep’ name, the fact that it's about real college hockey players, the fundamental misunderstanding of how far away BU and BC are from each other... But I think what takes the cake is that while the entire BC hockey team doesn’t blink an eye at Johnny being gay, they react with vitriol and disgust when realizing that his new man goes to BU. Yep, in this universe, homophobia is equivocated with and replaced by BU-phobia. Honestly, that's kind of camp, and who isn’t just a little BU-phobic.
Original character Eloise is dying of Covid, when her doctor Carlisle Cullen saves her by turning her into a vampire. A makeover ensues, and Eloise finds herself integrated into the (now Bostonian?) Cullen family.
This story has it all- 13 year old Renesmee as an incoming BU student, a BU botany department led by Esme Cullen, implications that you grow a cup size when you’re turned into a vampire, and so, so very much more. Unfortunately, this fanfic was abandoned after 2 chapters, so we’ll never know Renesmee’s thoughts on FY101.
Honestly, the plot is fully irrelevant to this ranking, and I was debating whether or not this one even deserved a spot on the list. Upon further consideration, there was no way I couldn’t mention it. This is another Stranger Things fanfiction, (possibly) about Mike and Eleven (possibly) reuniting? See, the thing about this one is that there was only ever one chapter written, so I have no idea where the plot is going. The very first line, though, is batshit enough on its own to deserve a spot on this list. It reads as follows:
“On December 17th 1989, El Hopper was kidnapped on her way back to her Boston University dorm room.”
WHAT? You’re gonna start off like that, never revisit the connection to BU, and abandon the story after the first chapter??? Shame on you, but what a great hook.
Well, that's the list! This is the point in the article where I should be saying “I regret nothing, and I’m glad to have shared these secrets with you,” but honestly, I’m more disappointed in myself than you are. If you’re in need of any light reading to get you through the semester, though, I can conclusively say that the Boston University tag on AO3 is simultaneously the single worst and single most entertaining place to go.
