President Brown Releases Statement Regarding BU’s Online Courses: “HELLO CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO TURN OFF CAPS LOCK”

According to students, in regards to the Coronavirus that has required Boston University to transfer to an online platform, President Brown has reportedly sent out an email that was less comforting and more concerning in nature: “HELLO STUDENTS AS YOU KNOW THERE IS A CONCERNING PANDEMIC THAT REQUIRES SERIOUS MEANS OF ACTION ON CAMPUSWE WILL NOW BE CONDUCTING CLASS ONLINE”“I was scared when I first read it,” says Henry Abernathy, (COM ’22). “But then I remembered that President Brown was…you know, a bit old. So I let it slide. I gotta help my grandparents with PDFs and JPEGs and stuff like that.”“I DO NOT MEAN TO YELL,” The email read, “BUT HELLO CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO TURN OFF CAPS LOCK.”Some have attributed the email to the more overarching concern that Boston University does not know how to handle this new accommodation.  Others just shrugged past it. “YOU SEE TECHNOLOGY IS A BIT DIFFICULT ONCE YOU REACH A CERTAIN AGE,” President Brown wrote, “AND I AM HONESTLY PRETTY FREAKED OUT BECAUSE I’M NOT SURE HOW TO OPEN A NEW TAB.YOU MAY LAUGH AT ME NOW BUT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOU OPERATING A 1877 TURNTABLE. HAHA. GOOGLE HOW DO I PUT A GIF OF SOMEONE LAUGHING? GOOGLE SHOW IMAGES OF PEOPLE LAUGHING.”Gerald Spring (COM ’21) commented: “In such dark times, it was good to have a laugh.” President Brown is currently self-quarantining and unable to give a comment, as he quotes, “without screaming.”