New York Freshman Can't Stop Talking About How Boston is Smaller New York

WARREN TOWERS— Ashley Steinburg (COM ‘23) was overheard talking about New York City for the 387th time since she’s moved in. Steinburg was born and raised in ‘The City’ (she means Manhattan, obviously), and loves to talk about just how quirky and small Boston is in comparison. “We have trains too, but they’re like underground,” Steinburg said. “And you guys only have the T, but we have the A,B,C,1,2,3, and even the Q train!” Bert Reynolds (CAS ‘23), one of Steinburg’s friends, said, “Ashley will literally never stop talking about NYC. She refuses every Pavement bagel. She will not live in a Baystate brownstone. And she still calls CVS ‘a lamer Duane Reade’. Don’t they have CVS in New York too?” Steinburg has been seen Uber Eats-ing chopped cheese to her room, just for her snap story. She called out Bostonions who wear Timbs for cultural appropriation. And, every time she spots an Allston rat, she picks it up and releases it into her dorm. Because of the short distance, Steinburg constantly goes back home during weekends. She’s spent more money on bus tickets than she has on a year’s tuition. Legend has it her city toothbrush is never dry. When her parents asked about her new college friends, she replied, “Greyhound, Lucky Star and Megabus.”Steinberg's friends, annoyed by the constant bragging about her hometown have all asked, “Why didn’t you just go to NYU?” To which she always replies, “too close to home.”