BU Admissions Tackles Gender Pay Gap By Not Paying Tour Guides At All

BU ADMISSIONS — Following the nationwide push to decrease the gender wage gap in recent years, BU Admissions tackled the issue in their own creative way- by not paying anyone at all, regardless of gender!According to Bill Boomer, an Admissions director, calculations were done to see if the university could afford to pay tour guides back in 2009. At the time, the calculations assumed male tour guides would make $10 per tour, with female guides only making $7.“The math was looking good. We had worked out a way to pay every tour guide what they deserve for their hard work,” said Boomer. “We knew that despite paying the lady guides less, everyone would be happy to get paid at all!”The plan was derailed when the push for wage equality became a national conversation. “Paying the girls and men the same amount? That’s preposterous! The university could never afford a silly investment like that,” Boomer added. “What if they get pregnant or, I don’t know, run off in the middle of a shift to curl their hair?”While students suggested that instead of paying the female guides more, BU could simply pay the male guides less, Boomer was less than willing to accept that idea “That would be just downright unfair and insulting to those brave men!” replied Boomer. The university eventually reached a decision that they were pleased with: not to pay tour guides at all. Mr. Boomer emphasized that this decision was made not because the university is cheap, but because gender equality matters.At press time, Boomer hinted that professors’ wages could be the next to be equalized.