Perspective: I Went Trick or Treating And All I Got Was This Ecstasy
My name is Martha Otly (CAS ‘22) and I am addicted to sugar. Growing up, my favorite thing in the world was going around to “rich people” neighborhoods and getting king size candy bars. But in college, all I do is get peer pressured into partying for all of Halloweekend. I’ve never even had a sip of alcohol! What’s actually in vodka by the way?Anyway, I really missed trick-or-treating, so I decided to hit the town this year.I decided to go trick-or-treating in the beautiful, serene neighborhood of Allston. I dressed up as Ukranian president Volodymyr Zelensky, but everyone just thought I was a rich old guy. I guess my accent didn’t work out.Trick-or-treating in Allston as a twenty-year-old is not the same as trick-or-treating in Calabasas, CA when I was eleven. No one handed out big candy bars. Hardly anyone even opened their door!I went up to one house. The lights were off, so I figured no one was home. I knocked anyway. A hunchbacked white man in his mid-thirties with a handlebar mustache opened the door. What a weird costume! He handed me some candy that looked like Flintstones vitamins. Finally! I was so excited, I didn’t even put it in my pillowcase. I just shoved all those gummies right in my mouth!I immediately felt like a thousand bucks. My Ukrainian president costume was getting a little hot even though it was -32 degrees outside. A little weird but whatever! I decided at that moment I wanted to roll up to Alpha Kappa Swagga and show them who’s boss. It was me by the way. I’s boss.Something about those 12 gummies I swallowed at the same time made me feel the most confident I’ve ever felt. I had to know which CVS that nice man got this candy from. It couldn’t have just been sugar, right? There definitely were vitamins and minerals in there!I had the best Halloween of my life...that is until I had to get drug-tested for my job about a week later. They fired me for doing ecstasy. I told them they were lying. I said the hardest drug I’ve ever done was Vitamin C.What I’ve learned from this experience is that I truly love ecstasy. That stuff is way better than a Crunch bar. It was completely worth losing my job. And my dignity. At least I’m no longer addicted to sugar!