BU Confirms Overloading Not a Sex Act

BOSTON– In a student-wide email sent out Tuesday, BU confirmed that no matter how dirty it sounds, “overloading” doesn’t qualify as a sex act.“Overloading refers to taking more than eighteen credits per semester as an undergraduate student,” the email from the Office of President Brown himself read in a stern tone. “If we continue to hear jokes about how you want your three Chemistry TAs to ‘overload’ you, disciplinary actions will be taken. It’s not even that funny, guys.”The news was met with disappointment from students in every college. “What the hell am I supposed to do in my stand-up routine now?” exclaimed Richard “Dick” Nelson (COM ‘22). “I had like fifteen minutes of material about overloading on my freshman roommate’s bed. What can replace that kind of comedy gold?”“I’ve got no game left to spit,” agreed Sierra Tiddie (SAR ‘21, CAS ‘21). “The best way to pick up people was to brag about overloading myself with that big, huge, double major of mine. What am I supposed to do now, talk about my hobbies and interests? Ew.”Other students met the news with relief, if some trepidation. “I was kind of afraid about overloading, I’m not going to lie,” confessed Trevor Balzak (QST ‘20). “I’ve never really taken that many classes before, and I’d heard it was supposed to be a pain. But now that I know more about it, I’m not afraid to just breathe deep, prepare, and let overloading do what it was always meant to do: fuck my schedule completely.”When pressed about what this announcement spells for the future of memes at Boston University, the office of President Brown confirmed that any more overloading jokesters would be “hunted down through the meme page– yes, we know about that– and expelled.”