Questrom Starbucks Now Requiring All Employees to Wear Three-Piece Suits Under Their Aprons

QUESTROM SCHOOL OF BUSINESS—Starting next week, the Questrom School of Business Starbucks announced it will now require all employees to wear three-piece suits underneath their Starbucks uniforms. This came as no surprise to many of the employees, who said it was only a matter of time before they were forced into Questrom’s formal culture.

Rachel Ellis (CAS ‘20), an employee of the Questrom Starbucks for the past two semesters, said that she “knew this day would come.” Ellis reported that she and her fellow employees receive harsh, snarky comments all the time from Questrom students when they order drinks. “They mock us with questions like ‘What gives you the entitlement to dress down?’ and comments like ‘You suit-less peasant.” It was only a matter of time before these jeers turned into action.

When asked what he thought of the change, frequent Starbucks consumer Billiam Richardson (QST ‘19) remarked that he was “looking forward to finally seeing the Starbucks workers put some effort into their presentation, which will absolutely increase their marginal revenue and make their price exceed their average total cost.” Richardson added, “Questrom means business, and the Starbucks is not exempt from our standards.”

At press time, Richardson was seen at the Questrom Starbucks in a summer internship interview with a Morgan Stanley representative, showing off his relevant skills and experience by borrowing the coffee machine to make the interviewer a Venti Americano Latte.