Professor Reserves Seat In Class Just To Put Her Damn Feet Up

CAS—On Sunday, as seniors registered for their second semester classes, Professor Charlotte Lopez snagged an extra seat, just for her overworked feet.“I need this. During class, I’m pacing while lecturing, pointing at my slideshow, and gesturing to emphasize points that will be on the exam. After all that, I really just need to elevate these puppies.”In class, Professor Lopez has been observed luxuriously placing her heel-clad feet up on an empty chair in the front row, occasionally saying to herself, “That’s what mamma likes!” and “You earned this, lil babies.”Students registering for spots in her coveted lectures have expressed concern. “I’m 15^th on a waitlist for that one seat.” Says Harry Palad (CAS ’19). “I get where she’s coming from, but I really need to take this class!”Professor Lopez’s attempts to decompress during class have only become more visible. Students have complained about her electric tea kettle whistling during exams, and others have tripped over the small potted plants she places in the aisles of her classroom.Lopez commented, “Mamma needs her oolong and succulents. That’s that.”At press time, Professor Lopez denied rumors that she’s planning on reserving a a whole row next fall, for impromptu naps.