StuGov Replacement Senator Maintains Boringly Tolerant Multicultural Blog

BU CENTRAL CAMPUS—After the scandal surrounding the blog of the former Student Government Senate Chair, the new interim senator, Jack Flannigan, has been under strict online scrutiny. Several curious students found his personal blog, which was revealed to be shockingly dull.“Did you see the blog? It’s so disappointingly uncontroversial,” said Karey Leaner (COM ‘19). “Like, just get a diary if you’re going to be posting mediocre stuff like that.”Some of the contents of Flannigan’s blog include; a link to a interview with actress Laverne Cox with the comment “So true. I did watch this.” underneath, a sentimental text post about his long-term girlfriend of Japanese descent, and a series of petitions from Change.org concerning racial equality in Greek life.“I don’t judge people based on their race, gender, or sexuality!” wrote Flannigan.Even The Bunion’s tireless web investigators could barely keep their eyes open as they scrolled through page after page of harmless, ethnically inclusive content. The consensus was clear: Flannigan’s carefully curated blog is a totally sensitive snoozefest.At first, it appeared as though Flannigan was disguising the names of people in his personal life by giving them pseudonyms.But then he wrote, “Flim and I moved in to Stuvi 1406 today. Flim is not a fake name. Flim is just his actual name, and I have nothing to hide because I’m an accepting and decent human being who doesn’t write about how much I hate all of the people who are closest to me.”At press time, Boston University’s politicians were living up to their title by continuing a pattern of excellence.