English Professor Stares Longingly At Hip-Hop Club

GEORGE SHERMAN UNION—John Timpleton, a senior English lecturer who studies William Shakespeare and iambic pentameter, has been spotted a number of times near the George Sherman Union gazing longingly at the Hip-Hop club’s freestyle rap battles.“These rap gurus are modern-day Shakespeares,” Timpleton said with a pipe in his hand. “Their eloquence and sense of rhythm reminds me of Iago’s soliloquy in ‘Othello.’”Peter Dill (COM '17), who goes by the rap name DJ Dill Sickle, said the club had invited Timpleton to participate in a battle, but that the English professor always demurred.“We are always tryna’ get Prof Timpleton to drop a smooth flow over a harsh beat, but he always insists on just standing in the background and observing,” Dill said.Timpleton said that he always refuses to lubricate his lips with words of wisdom because he much prefers to witness others spit game.“I heard Yung Franklin drop some of the fattest lines last week, he should be awarded the Ruth Lily Poetry Prize,” Timpleton said. “Yung Franklin has the zest of a young William Blake meshed with the verbiage of Maya Angelou.”Frank Shapiro (CAS '15), known as Yung Franklin, said Timpleton often lauded his verses.“Last week I dropped this line where I was like 'Hot Damn, This Life a Scam, Mouth Closed like a Clam, More Wordy than Dr. Seuss and his Green Eggs and Ham, Ya Bitch,’” Franklin said. “After I finished, Professor Timpleton vigorously clapped while reciting Shakespeare’s 18th sonnet.”At press time, Timpleton was ordering a G-Unit flat-brimmed baseball cap.