Students Carry On Unknowingly As Sole BU Alert Technician Is Devoured By Wolf

GEORGE SHERMAN UNION—Tragedy struck Boston University this week as the remains of sole BU Alert technician David Ralston were found in his office late last night following an attack by a stray wolf that entered the facility.

Ralston, who is survived by a wife and three children, issued a BU Alert during the attack in hopes of receiving help. Despite reaching roughly 40,000 students and faculty at the University more than several days ago, BUPD was only contacted last night by Boston University student Keith Belmont (CGS ‘16) regarding the incident.

“It bugs me when messages say 'unread’ on my phone, so I was just flipping through old messages and stuff,” Belmont explained, adding “Y'know?“

“Then I noticed an old Alert saying the robot that runs it was getting attacked, which was kinda weird but cool, so I told the police because it sounded kind of semi-serious. There were capital letters and stuff.”

“Every day there’s some new emergency going on, it’s ridiculous,” said Terri Casciola (CAS '14), another student who received the alert. “Sometimes they’re not even emergencies at all, so I’ve just started ignoring them.”

Ralston is survived by a wife and son, who promptly put together a memorial service early this morning for their late patriarch at Marsh Chapel. Invitations to the memorial service were sent out to the BU community via BU Alert text messages.

At press time, the memorial service was being attended by three people.