Consistent Robberies Offer Stability to University Community

BROOKLINE – A sense of déjà vu has swept over the Boston University community with a recent string of Brookline robberies this past weekend paralleling a similar series of crimes in the Fall. While some students believe the timing and location of the attacks feel coincidental to previous incidents, the criminals say this is all according to plan. In an exclusive yet brief interview, The Bunion sat down with one of the robbers, who has requested that his identity to be concealed as “Still-Wearing-My-Hoodie.” He not only recounted the details of the attacks while threatening our interviewer at gunpoint if we revealed his identity, but also revealed his motives behind what he calls the beginning stages of his “Bring Stability Back to BU” plan.“At a school plagued by uncertainty,” says Hoodie, “it’s difficult for students to find comfort in the unfamiliar. We’re just trying to restore that comfort by kicking off every semester with a few robberies to fulfill students’ expectations.” He, along with his accomplices, questions the current lack of transparency at the university. “Will there be gender-neutral housing? Is the T ever going to be on time? What is the password to the sauna inside of FitRec? Nobody knows, but we are here to restore some continuity and stability in the Boston University community.” He even discussed future plans for the “Bring Stability Back” program. “Eventually, if all goes according to schedule, we plan to launch a tracking app to let students know exactly when and where we will be each semester.” Hoodie says the app is currently being planned for iPhones only, with a release for Android devices coming at a later time.The plan is already proving effective in helping freshmen continue to settle into college life, especially after returning from Winter Break. “College has been a hard transition,” says freshman Colin Flagler (ENG ’16). “Every single piece of my life has changed since coming to BU – where I call my home, the people I hang out with, the food I eat. It’s nice to know that some things at BU will never change, that there will always be armed robberies at the beginning of each semester in Brookline.” He added, “As I freshman, I’ve never even been to Brookline!”Brookline resident Carolyn Turner (CAS 14), however, has a different take on her neighborhood’s crime. “I don’t have unlimited text-messaging, and BUPD’s string of text messages is eating up my data plan. I live here. I can look out my door and see if someone is getting robbed. But I still take a lot of solace in consistency. The robbers will always be there for me each semester—at least someone’s got my back.”Hoodie admits that his plans are not set in stone. “Whether or not we will stay in Brookline- that’s up in the air.” He did guarantee, however, no matter where he will be working in the future, he will always be looking out for the BU community- and wearing his signature sweatshirt. “That,” says Hoodie, “is a promise.”