Administration Is Just Way Too Busy To Approve Gender Neutral Housing

GEORGE SHERMAN UNION—This past Sunday, after quietly informing a Student Government representative before Thanksgiving, a statement from the Dean of Students Office officially announced the halting of negotiations with the student body to establish gender-neutral housing on campus, sources have confirmed.The proposal, which has been re-negotiated and re-revised several times over the past few years, was a cooperative effort between the administration and Student Government, in cooperation with the Center for Gender, Sexuality & Activism.“We’re sorry to announce that we are halting plans to establish gender-neutral housing,” said Dean Elmore earlier this week, referring to the five-year plan which the administration announced their approval of earlier this semester. “The University has many goals at the present time which outweigh the priority of gender-neutral housing, including ensuring on-campus housing for transfer students, ensuring that no freshmen students are placed in rooms in Danielsen Hall, ensuring that no one except Honors College students are placed in rooms in Kilachand Hall, ensuring that only the most unfortunate students are placed in rooms in Towers, continuing to replace the old wooden gold-lettered signs in front of buildings on campus with tackier, plastic ones, moving three more departments into the recently vacated space on the fourth floor of the GSU to make sure the Community Service Center doesn’t get too large, figuring out what exactly it is that we’re going to build on the pavilion in front of the law building, continuing our chastity belt installation on the members of the Men’s Hockey team, destroying BU Central, testing different brands of balloons and noisemakers for next Summer’s orientation sessions, preparing for the logistical nightmares of next fall’s dining hall lobster night, making the portions at 100 Bay State road even smaller than they already are, firing all of the professors that have the highest student ratings, continuing to pander to the community for millions of dollars that we don’t need and misuse, continuing to talk about the one billion dollars that we still want on top of that, and continuing to ignore the various student-driven campaigns to improve the university that are brought to our attention every semester."We’re regretful to suspend these plans to establish this gender-neutral housing system,” Dean Elmore continued. “As you can see, we have a long list of things we still need to accomplish that are higher on our priorities than to appease a small group of students with a clear and present demand for change."Although we approved this plan earlier in the year, we’re just not going to do it,” said Elmore. “We are not going to offer any additional details on our decision, and we hope you understand.”At press time, you can sign the petition here.