Physics Major Realizes Insignificance of Universe, Doing Well In Class

SHELTON HALL—Sources have confirmed that after hours of studying for PY 512: Quantum Mechanics II, Daniel Strong (CAS ‘12) began to finally understand wave-particle theory, the quantization of nonrelativistic systems, and how truly meaningless and random the entire universe truly is.“The idea is that all particles are believed to have the properties of both waves and particles on a quantum scale,” Exclaimed Strong in a moment of clarity. “This is a bit of a paradox. We don’t know how to explain the fine details of the universe, which is both beyond our grasp of total understanding and also utterly pointless,” Strong added. “I guess I don’t have to worry about this test very much after all.”After more studying, Strong proceeded to gain a stronger understanding of the photoelectric effect, the de Broglie hypothesis, and the inconsequential nature of the inevitable end of all life in the world. “It won’t really matter what grade I get in this class. Living and dying doesn’t really matter, either. We’re all just waves anyway. Or particles. I’m still not completely sure.”At press time, Strong was reviewing the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle while also contemplating the uncertainty of his motivation for completing college.