Sneaky Links Are NOT Allowed to Come to My Comedy Shows
By Lauren Matz | Photo by Lizzy Morearty
Playing hard to get has been found DEAD IN A DITCH. And don’t get me wrong, as an anxious-attachment gal, nothing scares me more than having to work for a love interest’s attention (it makes me feel like that one picture of Carrie Bradshaw in a top hat at Big’s door.) However, that doesn’t mean that I want someone to throw themselves at me before I’ve even learned their last name.
More recently, I’ve been experiencing a very specific phenomenon where every non-BU student that I flirt with decides to invite themselves to my comedy shows. Yes, I’m in an improv comedy group at BU. Put your clothes back on.
This isn’t like showing up to someone’s hockey game or concert. Since absolutely nothing is scripted, there’s a very real possibility that I could make a damn fool of myself on that stage. And it has happened many times before and will probably continue to happen at least once a show. It’s also super vulnerable obviously… Whatever comes out of my mouth in the moment is a clear reflection of my sly inner workings and celestial nature.
I get it, everyone wants a funny girl. They’re few and far between– women aren’t usually funny, after all. When you get the chance to cuff one, it’s like taming a magical steed. You have to brush their hair and feed them apples and mount them daily.
But you can’t just hop on the horse right away. You have to gain their trust first. You CANNOT show up to my improv show uninvited. Receiving an invite to my improv show is basically a higher level of intimacy than sex. You don’t just get the keys to the castle without embarrassing yourself a little bit first.
Yep, that’s the secret. You’ll find the road to Seeing My Body on Stage to be a lot less winding if you don’t take yourself so seriously. Nothing turns me on like doing a good bit. Crack a joke at your own expense and I’ll probably get wet. Yeah, I went there.
But until then, I’m gonna need these randoms to stop saying they’re going to show up to my improv show. If they DARE to attend, I will pull out the audience work card and absolutely clock their shit in front of the packed BU Central audience. And trust me… the fans never forget.