BU Frat Under Fire for New Hazing Scandal: Pledges Must Cut Off Their Right Hand To Stop From Jorkin’ It

By Rachel Stern | Photo by Tara Mullaney

In an unprecedented twist in the BU frat scene, the Beta Nu Omega Delta Sigma Upsilon Chi fraternity at Boston University is facing backlash for its latest initiation ritual, which reportedly requires pledges to sever their right hands to prevent them from engaging in “Jorkin’ it.”

For those blissfully unaware, “Jorkin’ it” is the frat term for what most people might call masturbation. Fraternity President Chad Goonmaster defended the ritual, claiming it was designed to promote “self-discipline” and to “give pledges a literal taste of sacrifice.” 

An interview with an anonymous pledge revealed that the new amputation ritual has brought the brothers closer together. “Since I can’t jork myself off, my fraternity bro does it for me,” reports the pledge. Anonymous wanted me to specify that this act is “not gay” and is just a “bonding excersize.” 

The frat’s decision to cut off a hand as part of the initiation sparked outrage, prompting university officials to call for an immediate investigation. “We’d prefer our students not engage in DIY amputation,” said BU Dean, shaking her head in disbelief. “Isn’t it enough to just drink too much and wear a stupid costume?”

The fraternity is unapologetic. “Look, we’ve been hazing for decades and ran out of creative ideas,” admitted Goonmaster. “We tried everything from the elephant walk to DIY circumcision. This was the next logical step.”

For now, pledges are left to navigate the challenges of college life with one hand tied behind their backs—or, you know, just completely gone. The frat, meanwhile, is reportedly brainstorming new hazing rituals that won’t require sharp objects, with suggestions including “sibling-assisted soaking” and “swallowing cum shots until a frat brother becomes pregnant.”